katiemae_days

the unchocolate shake

 

Looks good doesn't it. Come on you know you want some. Wanna know what this delectable concoction is? 

The other night I had a craving for a chocolate milkshake which is ironic because I don't much like ice cream or milkshakes unless they are made simple with chocolate ice cream and a bit of milk.

But this being dairy-free, mostly sugar-free and gluten-free has me dreaming of all sorts of foods I'm not eating. I pondered flat-out cheating, going for broke and finding any last scoop of ice cream and milk in the fridge/freezer and completely caving to the craving. But alas, I caught myself before going to the dark side. Instead, I googled dairy-free, sugar-free chocolate shake and waited to see the results. 

Up popped a recipe that called for unsweetened chocolate almond milk, almond butter, banana, flax seed and ice. I'm not supposed to be eating bananas right now but I thought what the heck, I'll go wild. Well, I made the shake this morning and gave my Cuisinart a spin. I didn't measure anything, just poured the almond milk, a tablespoon or so of almond butter, the banana and a few blueberries for good measure. I realize now I forgot the flax. Though I didn't take a fabulous picture of this morning blend, it didn't look half-bad, maybe not half-good either.

I went in for the first sip and may I say this was not the chocolate shake I was craving. However, I drank a little to fully experience what I'd made. This shake with mild notes of chocolate nuttiness was far from sweet or thick or rich. Perhaps, I didn't add enough ice or almond butter, who knows what the magic ingredient was. I would however try it again and experiment further by adding more ice and perhaps a spoonful of Coconut Bliss or Coconut Yogurt.  Well its back to the processor for me.

What are cooking up these days?

 

 

 

outside in the garden...

I set out on this Monday morning to do a little de-cluttering, internal style. A list of to-do's and random thoughts running amuck in my brain reminded me it was high time I set out to free my mind.

And thanks to the latest crop of weeds that had sprung up in my garden, I worked out my entire core. With every weed, I dug down deep, got to the root and pulled it free. Yes.

Besides weeding, edged the lawn with my new favorite me-powered edger, cleared the beds for winter and hauled a big barrel-load of yard debris to the back alley. Two hours of good, hard labor did my mind and body good. As I cleared the yard, I cleared my mind of all the junk that had been sitting up there in the wee hours of the morning. Outside in the garden becomes my place to work the kinks out and land someplace new. Once I free myself from what bugs me, I feel better, more energized and yes, happier. 

After hours of work in my green space, I took a long look at the pile of weeds I dug and pulled, my reminder of a season now past. Along with the weeds, there are the remnants and rewards of this years crops, brandywine tomatoes, cucumbers, cabbage, kale, collards, pumpkins and purple potatoes. There are the beds now ready for Fall.  

Today I dug in and got my whole self dirty. So grounding it is to have my hands in the dirt, clearing away what gets in the way and noticing all that grows in between. 

Time now to plant something new.

 

 

 

look mom, no sulfites!

 

 

Look Ma, No sulfites!.

I've not been drinking much wine since ridding myself of gluten, dairy and most sugar. I haven't missed the stuff because I haven't missed stuffy sinuses. 

My health specialist friend suggested that if I did want to drink a glass every now and again, try sulfite-free. We went to a potluck last night at our dear neighbors and I felt like having a glass or two of the red stuff so pre-party I went and bought a bottle of "Our Daily Red," an organic, no sulfite detected red that in fact was fairly tasty.  I looked at each pour as an experiment in sinus clarity.

Here it is morning and though perhaps I'm not as stuffed as usual, I am a little plugged. Sorry if that sounds gross. Let's just say neti pot here i come. Still, the wine tasted fine with a price match so I'd do it again, next time I want to have a glass.

Why add sulfites to wine and what are they in the first place? Rather than try on this fine Saturday morning to rewrite what I just read, here is a bit about sulfites straight from the winemaker:

"Sulfites are used for two reasons, the first is anti-oxidation. When you cut an apple and leave it out, it turns brown within an hour. This is due to exposure to oxygen and the same thing will happen to grape juice and wine. While we could live with the color change, the more delicate fruit flavors are also changed by oxidation and sulfites step in to grab the oxygen first and save the fruit characters.

The second reason for sulfite use is anti-microbial. Sulfites inhibit (they don’t kill) the growth of many yeasts and bacteria. While some yeast and bacteria are instrumental to the production of wine, some have other, less pleasant results and are to be avoided."

So I guess in giving up sufites, I drank more yeast. Oh dear.  I'll be sure not to whine about the wine.

5:30 am again....

I want a haircut. And its waking me up...at 5:30 am. Well that and all sorts of other ideas and dreams that just sort of pop-up in my mind in the wee hours of the morning. Early morning brainstorming, my new alarm clock. I thought about last night's dinner that was so dang good. Mine was a slight improvisation that rocked our dining world (I veered from this recipe and used cabbage rather than brussell sprouts and chicken sausage instead of pork because that's what I had in the fridge). And then I thought about the "Curriculum Night" we attended last night at my girl's school and how I am going to make an appointment with her teacher to get a better handle on where oh where has second grade gone in our first-ever split class experience (grade 2/3).  I thought about work I will need to get done today. And I even thought about the laundry and dinner tonight and how I'll have to cook dinner before soccer so we can eat right when we get home. And how tonight, my girl will need to zip in and out of the shower and get to bed early since tomorrow she starts choir before school at school and well getting her to bed early only makes MY day easier since we have a better chance then fending off the morning grumps that can come roaring in some days when we've let her stay up too late reading. Deep Breath.

I wanted to sleep more this morning, you know rest more because I stayed up too late visiting with my neighbors over a glass of sulfite-free red wine. My first real glass of wine in weeks. And seriously, there's not much better than rich conversation about education, good friends and good wine. Which leads me to get up from my chair, get dressed, make some gluten-free oatmeal and greet the day and my family. And oh yes get a haircut or at least schedule one. Then maybe tomorrow, I can sleep until 6.

Any glaring and not so glaring grammatical errors and awkward sentence structure, I'll chalk up to stream of consciousness writing in the wee hours. 

through it, there lies possibility.....

 

See that girl climbing to the top of the wall. That's my girl and that seven year old inspired me to push through some old fears of mine and climb too. There I was rooting her on and feeling myself pulled to climb too but feeling scared. I wondered  "what am I scared of"? Falling? Maybe but I'd be harnessed in. Would I let fear really stop me? No, I declared. So with a big step, I harnessed in and got to climbing.   

I got on that wall and climbed to the top. Mind you, this was the easy route of a human-made climbing wall but I did it. Rock climbing has both intrigued and scared me for a long time. On this day, I chose to let go of fear and have fun. I looked only at the wall and the next hand-hold above and forgot about the ground below. This took practice.  The climbing wall 'coach' I'll call him, lit a spark in me to not stop. He got me believing in my capability to keep going and he did so with lightness, joy and a lot of humor. When I came down I jumped up and down, laughed and cheered with my girl. We are powerful women I declared. Yes we are. I see that in this place I broke the barriers of whatever boundary I had set for myself.

 

  

This young climbing coach saw possibility and he held the door open for me to step in. I did. I moved forward in the possibility of sticking with the climb and making it to the top . I stuck to the wall in spirit and let my mind go.

Look what can happen when we chose to let go of fears and thoughts that limit us. Imagine the possibility of what we may create everywhere by stepping in and moving forward.

 
 

you say tart and I say frittata...

Yesterday was one of those great Sundays, a rainy, chilly day that gave me full license to stay in my pajamas past noon. I think I would have kept them on all day if we weren't heading out to a concert at the kid's museum in the afternoon. The band that played is one of our local favorites and put on a show well worth the change into day clothes.

But before all that, as I was luxuriating in the slowness of the day, I got inspired to cook. I started the day in the kitchen by making French Toast for the bread eaters in my home. I used slightly toasted flourless, sprouted grain bread for this breakfast delight. Must have been the smell of the french toast cooking on the cast iron griddle that got me hankering to make more food. Being on this gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free program has had me pouring through my go-to cookbook for recipes both delicious and satisfying. This week, I feel ready to branch out and find some other tasty treats to cook.

One of the more challenging parts to this new way of eating is finding an outlet for my sometime sweet tooth. Ironic it is that I'm not as much a sweet-lover as I am savory but for some reason when I've been eating through the day for the most part sans sugar, I find myself missing the sweet stuff.  Now I am 'allowed' a small bit of very dark chocolate here and there but I was curious to see what else I might create that meets the demands of the triple-three-free way of eating. So as I often do when I have a question, I turned to Google. I typed in gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free recipes and up came this blog.

I loved it on first glance and head straight for desserts. I landed on "Lemon-Almond Dessert Frittata" a recipe this blogger adapted from a NYT recipe entitled "Pan-Baked Lemon Almond Tart." I scanned through the original recipe and the writer's list of suggested substitutions and realized I had most everything except the Brown Rice Syrup that replaced the white sugar and coconut milk that replaces the cream. So for Brown Rice Syrup, I used a small shot of Agave and for the Coconut Milk, unsweetened Almond Milk.  And I replaced 2tb butter with 1 tb coconut oil and even that was too much. This recipe is quick, easy and tasty and actually kind of pretty.

I forgot to take a picture when I took it out of the oven and I didn't slice and toast almonds for the topping either so this is what I've got to show for my day-old, refrigerated version of the recipe. Go to the blog to see a tastier looking version.  The texture of this dessert is definitely more frittata as its aptly named than tart. I was not actually digging the frittata texture on first bite so I added some frozen blueberries as a topping which took this sweet treat into a whole new sphere of good taste.

So for my first endeavor into the free-three baking world, not bad at all. Fortunately, I like almonds. Next time, I think I might grind them with a handful of bittersweet chocolate and see what I might create. Oh the possibilities.

What have you been cooking lately?

on a friday...

 

Twice a year, every year my very dear friend Puck(my nickname for her) and I spend a weekend together sometimes away from home, sometimes at one of our homes. This is our time to catch up, tell stories and be inspired. We aim to create our sweet retreat in Fall and Spring. In Fall, we walk for hours, eat great food and drink a glass of wine or two. In Spring, we ski at the mountain North of here and play. Whatever we do, at the core is the delicious catching up uninterrupted.

We have not seen each other for months now. Too long without a good, long in-person talk. So this past Friday on a whim, we met in a small town South of here for lunch and a saunter. Time spent with this sister of mine is always rich and deep. Every conversation leads to twenty more. These tangents spring up organically through a word or a name that reminds us of another story. We follow every thread in this meandering journey that is the stream of consciousness of our conversation. And somehow, the two of us always remember to return to the conversation that started it all.

This town we picked is perfection in about one square mile. This town is center in the land of the farming flats. A sweet place it where the few streets are dotted with old homes, a couple of funky shops, art galleries and a bakery that could send my gluten-free ways packing at least for more than a few minutes.  Oh yes and a tavern on one end of the main road, a ma and pa style cafe, a farm stand/gallery/cafe and another tavern at the other end of the road. These are just highlights of course.

  

After lunch at the home-sweet-home style cafe, we walked to the only one of funky shops that was open. The Lucky Dumpster so appropriately named is a gallery of its own, a feast of local wears and vintage treasures.  Every item sold has a story, like the rack of jeans called "Shotgun Jeans." Two women came up with this fashion statement that I'm sure will hit the NYC runway scene very soon if it hasn't already. Apparently, they hang the jeans on a clothes line and shoot those two-legged blues three times for the perfect triple-shot look. And Voila, the product is born: a pair of badass denim.

  
 

We spent thirty minutes or so in this sweet space and a magical few chatting with the owner about life. Yes life. It all started with our admiring a ring he'd made that he'd stamped with the word "Patience." Our noticing led to his sharing on what patience holds for him. He told us of his grandmother and all she had taught him about sticking with and moving forward towards your vision for life. No matter how slow the movement, stay with what you see. Choices that may feel wrong will still lead somewhere and in that there is learning. We shared too and in those moments the three of us found common ground about life. What it is to open and invite sharing, to be curious about another. These are moments I love and often have with this friend of mine.

We had just a couple of hours together on this Friday and we soaked in every moment in the moment. We walked the streets and shared more stories about summer days and our families. I always leave this friend of the deepest kind inspired, energized and ready to crank some tunes. She always provides a new kick in my step and warmth in my heart. 

 

 

Until our next weekend dear friend.

on marriage....

I was a girl who grew up with the storybook version of marriage etched ever so elegantly in my mind. I remember the days gone by when my friends and I I would dream aloud of the boys we would some day marry. Where were they then we wondered? What could they be doing at that very moment we would ask ourselves aloud.  

And then in high school, I remember thinking, "wait a minute," I'm not rushing into anything. Mind you, I wasn't being asked to run away to Vegas or anything but back then my posse of girl friends and I would talk about the fact that we were most definitely going to enjoy a few years of freedom after college.  Well I did and then some. 

Somewhere in my twenties, and I'm sure long before I'd listen to the ole tape recorder playing in my mind "you're supposed to get married, you're supposed to get married." And yet, I hadn't a clue if I really wanted to, what it would mean or if I'd ever meet someone I'd want to be with for THE REST OF MY LIFE. 

Then at thirty, I met my match. Literally, the moment we met I caught a spark. A kinetic reaction plain and simple. We courted for seven years never quite ready to step up to the altar. 

On September 15, 2001 we got hitched. Yesterday, we celebrated nine years being married! This year I get more than ever what marriage is on the inside and how it can stretch you to new horizons. This has been a year where we've grown leaps and bounds. In this year, we rode through rough patches the size of small islands. Rough patches that sprang up between seas of calm and ease. 

The days that are more rough and rocky are not so fun. In those days, I would spin and wonder in circles looking for answers. But thankfully oh so thankfully, the darker days invite possibility for change.

With possibility, came opening and the willingness to knock down some fortress-size walls. 

And breaking down those walls has been so crucial in letting out my heart to play. I used chisels and hammers to knock down old walls that went up long long ago for the purpose of protecting who I thought I was. How ironic that in all that protecting not only was I not letting my full self out but there was no room for anyone else to step in. How is it to truly be free in relationship when we dared not step foot into the wide open expanse between one another.

One of the biggest gifts this past year has been letting go of old wounds and stories and the spinning round and round and instead choosing to break free of the old ties that bind and create a new stand, a new place of compassion and vulnerability not only for his heart but for mine. 

Marriage is work so many of us say. I choose to look at marriage much like a garden that sometimes gets a little weedy. As we tend to and nurture our space, we plant seeds of possibility and experience that mature into luscious plants that bloom and grow. In this space, there is commitment to keep gardening, tending, weeding, watering and loving.

For this beautiful garden my partner and I create, I am grateful.

 

food glorious food......sort of

Every year as labor day approaches, I feel the urgency to savor the last drops of summer. And then with a bang, I say hello to fall, a few rain drops and the back-to-school routine.

The new school year marks always marks for me a new significant place in time. Perhaps its the lazy days of summer transforming into a little Fall fervor. And somehow in the energy of seasons soon turning, I often set out to create something new. This year on the Monday before Labor Day I launched a new project on eating. The impetus: I'm tired of stuffy sinuses and yeast in a different body zone.  

So with the help of a clinical nutritionist all around health guru dear friend in Victoria, BC, I embarked on new journey with food. I did the same sort of program this time last year but with less drive and commitment. This time I'm all in with flexibility.

I start my day with a glass of baking-soda infused water. Took me two days not to gag as I drank this stuff down. And with that, I take a couple of supplements and a drop or two of herbs. That lovely combination, I enjoy three times a day.

The eating  part of the plan is much better.

Goodbye to gluten once again to support my stuffy sinuses. And along with gluten, I've said au revoir to dairy. Really, the only dairy I typically drink or eat is a bit of cream in my coffee now and again and an occasional yogurt. But since I've nixed coffee from my menu for awhile, who needs cream!  Anyway, I've discovered the delicious taste of decaffeinated Chai tea with a splash of rice or almond milk. Definitely satisfying.

I suppose the biggest change in eating comes with my kiss-off to sugar. I'll admit it. I'm a big fan of cookies and a piece of dark chocolate here and there. Well no more cookies for a while and with that goes most fruit, pastas and all things processed.  Yeast loves sugar and from what I gather goes forth and multiplies when any sign of the magic sweet stuff enters the body. 

Thankfully, brown rice is still in the game and quinoa. And oh yes a piece of dark chocolate every few days if i want. And I do but I haven't yet. I'm waiting until my 9th anniversary celebration tomorrow for that bit of decadence.

I'm back to cooking in my favorite cookbook "The Whole Life Nutrition Cookbook" and have been making all sorts of great meals. Cuban Black Beans and brown rice, Lentil and Brown Rice Casserole and dairy free Cream of Cauliflower soup.

I'm 8 days in and feel lighter and more clear each day. I get hungry and have been making a habit of eating smaller meals more frequently. Rice cakes topped with almond butter are my new go-to snack or freshly made hummus with celery and cucumber. On the suggestion of my nutritionist friend, I'm going to buy an organic gluten free protein shake that will help with those moments of big hunger. 

I have always thought I eat well and for the most part whole. But in this new practice, I notice what it is to be more conscious of what I eat and make more empowered choices for me and my body.  

I made a commitment to this new path and with that promised myself not to be rigid. That is I'll treat myself to coffee now and then and the aforementioned chocolate and of course a glass of red wine on occasion, sulfite free of course.

What are you eating these days?